The craziest things happen to me...

OK its no secret I'm a magnet for 'oh its weird, craZy, unbelievable...? Then it HAS to happen to Tiffany Ratliff' Seriously. Like its a law or something. I've been told I could and should write a book about all the stuff that I do, or say, or have happen to me, or witness... but for now this blog will have to suffice. 'Sides I'm getting old and I can hardly remember to remind my self to eat let alone something that happened yesterday. Haha OK so I'm exaggerating a tad but these stories that I'm about to share -spread out over time- are totally NOT exaggerated. Names and places may be changed to protect the innocent ~ sorry couldnt help my self. OK back to the story at hand. MOST of these things happen to me at the work place. Like the time when working as a waitress I asked my customer "Would you like you hie peated ?" and he said something like "What ever you say sugar..." and I walked away red in the face and promptly returned with his PIE HEATED. Or the time when working with Randy in Troy. This 'person' walked in asking me for a job application. Well this was a very special kind of person. It was a man dressed in FULL ON D.R.A.G. with makeup, and a dress, and a wig, and high heals that incidentally caused him to have this very odd awkward walk. Mind you this was 1990 when such sightings were an acceptation and not the norm. And after all I was only 20, yes I'll blame my age on my reaction. Which was to duck underneath my desk and try to pull my self together. When this attempt failed I then reached my hand up onto my desk feeling around for my phone and I called up another girl to help me 'deal with something' Now this poor guy, (or do you say girl ?) who was patiently waiting for a job app (which of course I had NO idea where they were kept or believe me I'd have grabbed it and sent him on his way) SAW me duck under said desk and then SAW me feeling around for the phone, and then HEARD me try to stifle laughter. It wasnt so much that I was making fun of him, really, it was just the fact that he came in looking like the thought he could pull this off. Like, ehhh happens every day, lets just stop in to this place and expect them to take me seriously as I ask for employment. Never mind that he had a run in his hose, fake eyelashes one of which was fluttering around threatening to fall off, and RED RED lipstick smeared seemingly every where BUT his lips, and then there were the fake nails, but I digress... Once my co-worker made it up to me I tried to bolt, but she made me stay with her while she too tried and failed to speak to this person with out loosing it. Eventually I did make a run for it, into the bathroom where I stood laughing so hard that tears were streaming down my face. Once he was gone I got a nice lecture/threat something about "If you EVER do that to me again..." Fast forward 20 some odd years to my present place of employment. I sell electronic cigarettes. On display as part of our decor my manager has a decent sized jar filled with all different colors of USED filters. He even sealed off the top of it with some packaging tape. I'd like to say this deterred people from trying to take them. But nope. Apparently when you think something may be FREE it doesnt matter what it is, you just want handfuls of them. And just last night I witnessed 2 people grab a few and say "ohh these is free !" and the other person said "What is they ? What you gonna do with 'em ?" I intervened at this point and said "Ladies those are used filters, on display for a decoration..." They promptly dropped them back in the jar and ran off. One particular lady upon seeing the jar walked over to me and said something like "I got my kit down somewhere(s) else, so am I supposed to frow away my useded filters in that jar ?" You cant make this stuff up people remember I'm a MAGNET for these kinds of situations. While I was tempted to say something like "Oh yes lady from Saginaw I think its perfectly reasonable to ask you to drive to Flint to "FROW" away your garbage." But I didnt, I smiled and said "No of course not, that jar is just on display to show our variety of filters, you know, like for a decoration." And she looked at me and said "Oh so I should put mine(s) in a jar too ?" REALLY ?? You'll be happy to know that again I bit my tongue and said "No hun, you just throw them away in your OWN garbage..." Here is a picture of the jar...

I'll add to this over time, depending upon YOUR feed back...or lack there of ! =)